Comments on: Get Married - The Asian Way? http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/ The Truth About Islam Sat, 17 May 2008 03:29:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Sid http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-49 Sid Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:48:51 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-49 Absolutely Ibn Abdullah, I agree with u 100% especially when our dear Prophet (PBUH) himself broke down all the barriers of colour, race and nationality. Truly hindsight is a wonderful thing, and we can use it to set the new standards in our life so that the whole world can see that we do indeed follow the Islamic way. May Allah guide us. Ameen. Absolutely Ibn Abdullah, I agree with u 100% especially when our dear Prophet (PBUH) himself broke down all the barriers of colour, race and nationality.
Truly hindsight is a wonderful thing, and we can use it to set the new standards in our life so that the whole world can see that we do indeed follow the Islamic way.
May Allah guide us. Ameen.

]]> By: Ibn Abdullah http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-48 Ibn Abdullah Fri, 17 Aug 2007 07:59:21 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-48 Sid, you comment that "the piety principle is more adhered to, especially in the older generation", what piety principle is that which you refer to - the one that states that a Guji is more pious in the eyes of a Guji, a Mirpuri is more pious in the eyes of a Mirpuri and a Bangladeshi is more pious in the eyes of a Bangladeshi??? It's easy for the likes of me to sit in the comfort of my chair, look back and criticise the principles adopted by our grandparents and parents, but the time will come when inshaAllah all of us will be parents looking for a partner for our child; which path shall we adopt then, the Asian way or the Islamic way? Our actions should speak as loud as our words. May Allah guide us. Sid, you comment that “the piety principle is more adhered to, especially in the older generation”, what piety principle is that which you refer to - the one that states that a Guji is more pious in the eyes of a Guji, a Mirpuri is more pious in the eyes of a Mirpuri and a Bangladeshi is more pious in the eyes of a Bangladeshi???

It’s easy for the likes of me to sit in the comfort of my chair, look back and criticise the principles adopted by our grandparents and parents, but the time will come when inshaAllah all of us will be parents looking for a partner for our child; which path shall we adopt then, the Asian way or the Islamic way? Our actions should speak as loud as our words.

May Allah guide us.

]]> By: Sid http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-47 Sid Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:14:03 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-47 Ibn Abdullah! I hope u and your family r well insha-Allah (with the Will of Allah)! Indeed, particularly in this country, with prospective partners knowing exactly what they want, it may be sensible to change the terminology (would that then make the parents 'introducers'?!) I also think that the piety principle is more adhered to, especially in the older generation, but I definitely agree with your comment that the other two factors are given more precedence. Jazakallah for your comment. Ibn Abdullah! I hope u and your family r well insha-Allah (with the Will of Allah)!
Indeed, particularly in this country, with prospective partners knowing exactly what they want, it may be sensible to change the terminology (would that then make the parents ‘introducers’?!)
I also think that the piety principle is more adhered to, especially in the older generation, but I definitely agree with your comment that the other two factors are given more precedence.
Jazakallah for your comment.

]]> By: Ibn Abdullah http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-44 Ibn Abdullah Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:06:55 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-44 Funny how the comments flood in when the topic is marriage! For what its worth, I find the word "arranged" due to its historical usage on this topic draws with it connotations of "forced". If we analyse how the set up really is, it seems that couples are "introduced" leaving it open upon themselves to take the plunge and I can't really understand where "arranged" comes in to things and why we continue to use this word to describe the set-up??? Sid, where you talk about the four criteria, traditionally parents (not all) have been obsessed with two of these when searching for a partner for their child - wealth (he owns 23 petrol stations or is a doctor etc) and lineage (the lass/lads family are sound because her/his grandfather came from the same village back in India where he was the sultan of ...). Needless to say its all good. Sid, continue to enlighten us all... Funny how the comments flood in when the topic is marriage!
For what its worth, I find the word “arranged” due to its historical usage on this topic draws with it connotations of “forced”. If we analyse how the set up really is, it seems that couples are “introduced” leaving it open upon themselves to take the plunge and I can’t really understand where “arranged” comes in to things and why we continue to use this word to describe the set-up???

Sid, where you talk about the four criteria, traditionally parents (not all) have been obsessed with two of these when searching for a partner for their child - wealth (he owns 23 petrol stations or is a doctor etc) and lineage (the lass/lads family are sound because her/his grandfather came from the same village back in India where he was the sultan of …). Needless to say its all good.

Sid, continue to enlighten us all…

]]> By: Sid http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-40 Sid Tue, 14 Aug 2007 10:29:13 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-40 Masha-Allah that is good news, insha-Allah the bigger the Walimah, the more Barakah (blessings, abundance) there will be in the marriage - may Allah keep both of u and your families happy. Ameen. Masha-Allah that is good news, insha-Allah the bigger the Walimah, the more Barakah (blessings, abundance) there will be in the marriage - may Allah keep both of u and your families happy. Ameen.

]]> By: T http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-38 T Tue, 14 Aug 2007 08:04:38 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-38 The wedding itself is small but most of my friends and family are invited to the walimah therefore that will be a big do. The wedding itself is small but most of my friends and family are invited to the walimah therefore that will be a big do.

]]> By: Sid http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-37 Sid Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:56:36 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-37 Masha-Allah that is good to hear T. Another example of a happy couple through an arranged marriage (not forced!). May Allah keep both of you happy and may He bless your marriage with abundance of love and tranquility. Just out of interest, is the marriage gonna be big? Masha-Allah that is good to hear T.
Another example of a happy couple through an arranged marriage (not forced!). May Allah keep both of you happy and may He bless your marriage with abundance of love and tranquility.
Just out of interest, is the marriage gonna be big?

]]> By: T http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-35 T Mon, 13 Aug 2007 12:36:28 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-35 Salams, after reading the above blogs, such a wedding is possible as i myself have just gone through the process. I was introduced to my fiance by my parents. Alhumdulillah after meeting her and doing istikarah we both agreed to get married, IA this will be later on this year. So as Sid says it is upon your intention and simply ask Allah for his help and guidance. Salams, after reading the above blogs, such a wedding is possible as i myself have just gone through the process.
I was introduced to my fiance by my parents. Alhumdulillah after meeting her and doing istikarah we both agreed to get married, IA this will be later on this year.
So as Sid says it is upon your intention and simply ask Allah for his help and guidance.

]]> By: Sid http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-33 Sid Sat, 11 Aug 2007 19:39:38 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-33 <p>Well I think it's really a question of what the intention of the couple is and how firm they are upon it. We live in a world where they have started to build spacecraft which will carry people into space just for a leisure trip, so I think that anything's possible - what is needed is a firm heart and the right intention.<br /> However, I know what you mean Lyra in the sense that today the culture is different, and we have many more amenities at our disposal. Just be true to yourself and keep asking Allah and you never know, you could have the 21st century version of it!</p> Well I think it’s really a question of what the intention of the couple is and how firm they are upon it. We live in a world where they have started to build spacecraft which will carry people into space just for a leisure trip, so I think that anything’s possible - what is needed is a firm heart and the right intention.
However, I know what you mean Lyra in the sense that today the culture is different, and we have many more amenities at our disposal. Just be true to yourself and keep asking Allah and you never know, you could have the 21st century version of it!

]]> By: lyra silver http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-32 lyra silver Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:15:42 +0000 http://www.hidayahblog.com/index.php/2007/08/09/get-married-the-asian-way/#comment-32 yes but is a wedding like the one abu maryam mentioned possible for us? yes but is a wedding like the one abu maryam mentioned possible for us?

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