Some careful words…

Assalaamu-Alaykum – Peace be Upon you

These days it is considered quite alright to speak our minds to anybody about any subject.

But is it always the best thing to do so – and if we do, are there any particular points we should have in mind before we do so?

Let me give you an example…..

A son has a complaint about something his father has done to him and he wants to let him know.  The son is quite angry about it, but as we all know, in a situation such as this, there is a certain way for the son to tell his father.

It would be have to be in a proportionately respectable way (obviously everybody’s relationship with their parents is unique) as opposed to the son going in there, all guns blazing and shouting his head off.

So it could be said that as an integral part of life as a human being, whenever we converse with anybody about any subject, it would be most appropriate for us to take into consideration who we are speaking to before we talk about the subject.

This is also the teaching of Islam…..

Whenever delegations used to come and visit the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), the leaders and other people who were high up in the tribal structure always used to get pride of place next to the Prophet (PBUH) himself.  This was the Prophet’s (PBUH) way of showing respect to that person irrespective of colour, tribe or creed.

So what about showing respect to humanity in the 21st Century – have we forgotten about it?

Well recent antics by certain radio presenters provide a snapshot into how far the media in general have gone to ‘breaking down the age barrier’ and de-sensitising the rest of us to the traditional values of morals and respect which we have been brought up with.

Whether you are English or Indian, Muslim or Christian, white or black, we as humans must always act in such a way as to respect and preserve each other’s dignity.  As the Prophetic tradition goes, ‘A true Muslim is he who desires for others what he desires for himself” and so if we want others to respect us for who we are, then we must do the same.

It is unfortunate that today’s media have unwisely broken down some barriers which were never meant to be broken down.  They seem to have forgotten that it is possible to find a  balance between  providing good entertainment and respecting someone’s dignity.

But hey, enough of the serious stuff – I think that all I want to say is that we all like having a good laugh now and then, it’s part of our nature.  But we shouldn’t get carried away with it in such a way that we start to offend and find that no one is laughing along.

And Allah knows best.

Ma’as-salaam – With Peace

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6 Responses to “Some careful words…”

  1. Salam AND DUAS, I completely agree but hey you know me I dont do “rubber stamping” that well, LOL! Speaking with respect, humility, etiquette and courtesy doesnt just apply to the media of course. As Bro Siddique’s piece acknowledges what we say and how we say it is an important part of our everyday human interactions

    The Prophetic traditions that speak as to “the one who is humble for the sake of allah, Allah will raise him/her” “the best muslim is one from whose tongue and hand other muslims stay safe” allude to the importance and necessity of mederating what we say so as not to cause offence to anyone.

    As someone who deals in words! – I know what words can do, how easy it is to utter them without thought and what damage they have the capacity of doing to others when used inapproriately.

    So my message to everyone and above all to myself is “LET US THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK, LET US SPEAK ONLY THE TRUTH AND LET US DO SO WITH DIGNITY, HUMILITY & RESPECT” Always and AMEEN.

    Allahafez Elyas.

  2. Subhanallah, what amazing hadiths you have quoted brother Elyas! Especially the first one higlighting the importance that Islam places on the quality of humility.

    I think the old phrase, ’sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ has lost its meaning in today’s world, don’t you?

  3. Its not a phrase that I care much for! – the effect of sticks and stones heal but the pain caused by loose words lingers and is often felt for ever – forgiven maybe but never forgotten – so “come on you all” lets be kind with our words to others and for others hey!!!!!!

  4. “Mun samata naja”

    “Who stayed silent saved himself”

  5. Oh ye father of Maryam – may allah almighty be pleased with you both and a sinner like me too –

    The hadith you have helpfully cited “The one who stayed silent saved himself” – embodies a powerful message as the prophet of allah exclaimed.

    Of course the hadith doesnt mean we go around dumbstruck nor does it mean that silence is always in every circumstance the prefered response or always a means of salvation – For example the Prophet of Allah also said did he not “he who sees an evil action let him change it WITH HIS TONGUE, then with his hand and then with his heart and that is the weakest form of faith…”

    So it is on those occasions that a verbal response is called for or we give one anyway – that we must moderate our language and manner so as to ensure we hurt and offend no one.

    May allah give us the taufeeq to clarify and contextualise that which we attribute to the Prophet of Allah, Ameen and as Sid would say ALLAH ALMIGHTY KNOWS BEST!!

  6. A very good peice of advice I was once given as a student:

    Sowch, phir tawl, phir bol (urdu) which simply means, “Think (of what you’re about to say), then weigh (the consequences of what you’re about to say), then (if you think it will benefit as opposed to do damage) speak” … once we all inshaAllah make this a habit before we speak every time, the good changes it makes will be apparent before us.

    Not long before a teacher gave me this advice, I saw a mobile phone network advertising on a billboard, saying something along the lines of, “Don’t think before you speak, speak before you think!” … Shame.

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